The contents list could have been made up by a Saturday Night Live scriptwriter. Among the five-star holidays and treatments are Cozy Earth loungewear made from sustainably sourced silk and bamboo, Hotsy Totsy Haus vegan bath bombs, Loci sneakers made from repurposed plastic, the anti-racist childrens book Change-Maker Village, a Peta emergency hammer to save dogs trapped in hot cars and tote bag which raises money for disaster relief efforts, mindfulness classes, Hemp Intimate Oils and a meditation headband.
Distinctive Assets founder, Lash Farhy known as the Sultan of Swag says this years contents are particularly special, he tells me. The companies we are featuring embrace diversity, inclusion, health and philanthropy and are giving back to their communities and the world at large in significant ways. Which not only coheres with the 93rd Academy Awards ethos in these strange and worrying times, but the direction Hollywood is moving in more generally.
Covid may have made it particularly important for brands and individuals to be putting out the right message around the Oscars this year, says my film source, but I doubt things will ever go back to the way they were in terms of the overt promotion and celebrating of big tech brands and unethical cosmetic and clothing giants. Hollywood loves a freebie, but everyones all too aware now of how much trouble the wrong kind of freebie may land you in.
The world may be overstating things. The ceremonys ratings have steadily declined in recent years, and given how blighted the entertainment industry has been by the pandemic, this year may well see that trend continue. But despite the hopeless Golden Globes, the underwhelming Critics Choice Awards and the largely forgotten Grammys, I will be there on my sofa, with my ethically-sourced popcorn. If only because after years of being told the Academy Awards will be different, and tuning in to find them exactly the same this year they really will be.
Bags for life: How the Oscars gifts became a sign of the times
2002: Crème De La Mer
It all began so smoothly, like the foreheads of the best actress nominees. A year after the sponsored goodie bags were launched, one of the standout gifts was a pot of posh face cream. A simple, thoughtful gift for the anti-ageing generation. Where did it go so wrong?
2004: A gift certificate for a resort in Mexico that Gwyneth Paltrow used for her honeymoon with Chris Martin
It was a time when Hollywood was obsessed with couples that are now long gone. Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt were still married. Bennifer (J-Lo and Affleck) had just expired. Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds were engaged. Jessica Biel and Chris Evans were a thing. Tom Cruise was with Penelope Cruz and Gwyneth and Chris were consciously coupled. So what better gift than their honeymoon resort?
2007: 100,000 lbs of CO2
A year after the IRS clamped down on the goodie bags (and a year before the financial crash), they included 100,000lbs of CO2 reductions from a company that invests in greenhouse gas reduction projects to offset a year of carbon emissions. But just think of all the hot air that years ceremony must have produced.
2009: Booty Pop padded underwear
The first series of Keeping Up With the Kardashians had only launched a year earlier, but Kims influence was all over the 2009 gifts, which included a bum deal for everyone. Did Best Director winner Danny Boyle wear his? We may never know.
2011: An orbital space flight from Virgin Galactic
A new decade and anything is possible, including a trip to space with Virgin Galactic. Ideal for any clairvoyants who could see what was to come in the next few years and wished to get off the planet, but is being sealed in a metal tube with Richard Branson a gift or a curse?
2014: Pet shampoo
It was a time when animals ruled the internet. Choupette, Grumpy Cat, Larry the Downing Street mouser And in acting circles, you werent a real star unless you had a miserable-looking French bulldog in one hand and a sheaf of poo bags in the other. Pet shampoo was an obvious choice.
2015: A gift card from Enigma Life for a horoscope readings and dream analysis
Did anybody take this chance? A year before Trump, a year before Brexit, and a year before the #OscarsSoWhite controversy, the great and good of Hollywood was offered the chance to peer into the future, but nobody tried to stop a thing. Typical selfishness.
2016: Sex toys
As well as toilet paper, a chapstick, a protein bar and a breast lift, a Nuelle Fiera female libido enhancement product was included in the haul of 2016. Thats quite some night in.
2018: A stylish pepper spray, two personal body alarms and a kit to test whether your drink has been drugged
In the first ceremony of the post-Weinstein era, it was all about personal safety.
2020: An Antarctic cruise
Just four years after Leonardo DiCaprio used his Oscars acceptance speech to warn the audience about melting ice caps, the 2020 goodie bag invited celebrities to hop on a $78,000 cruise around Antarctica on Scenic Eclipse a yacht for 220 guests, with butler service, two helicopters and a spa. We cant help but detect a slight whiff of hypocrisy here – although Leo probably shunned the cruise for a puff on the gold vape pen instead.
